Almost every RPG player has faced it: either playing a game with your significant other, or playing in a game where a couple was playing.
I’ve heard a lot of horror stories. Some tell of a GM who would give their significant other a break, or sneak a little extra cash their way, or two players who would get into arguments, obviously letting outside conflicts enter the game.
I personally, have never had that problem.
I had a girlfriend a few years back who I got into roleplaying with the Serenity RPG. That group consisted of me and my girlfriend, and a buddy and his girlfriend. We never had any kind of issue with favoritism or anything. In fact, I think it helped a lot, because everyone knew each other very well, and felt more comfortable speaking in-character, or taking risks.
Playing now with my wife, I’ve found that it’s easy to not worry about her getting mad at me, mostly because she’s not the type to get mad at me after the game because she ended up overrun with undead skeleton minions attacking her. She sees it as just a game, and doesn’t let it affect her. Also, being married, you don’t have to worry about whether this girl will break up with you if her character dies. I’ve heard stories. It’s happened.
How about all of you? Have you had any issues with your players when significant others are involved?
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October 16, 2008 at 11:31 am
PatrickWR
I’m somewhat bummed that my fiance doesn’t want to game, but she’s very supportive of my hobby in general. She oohs and aahs when I regale her with stories of our exploits, and she’s even learned to ask, “Who won?” We do play board games, however, which ignites some friendly rivalry (especially when combined with a bottle of wine).
October 16, 2008 at 1:20 pm
John
I would often hear complains about favoritism from some of my players. I don’t think I ever showed favoritism to my wife, but that is how some people saw it. Mostly I think this is because she is one of the best role-players that anyone has ever seen, and is so intelligent (I.Q. 180+ range) that she often knew what was going on before anyone else did (sometimes even before the GM), and other players thought this meant she was getting “help.”
My groups now don’t really see that. As I’m not the primary GM anymore, and she is still doing the “how did you figure that out” kind of thing with two other GMs, the players have realized it is her, and not the GM.
I have played in games, however, where there was obvious favoritism between GM and spouse. In my current group, the spouse of the GM is something of a passive-agressive spoiled brat. She has thrown tantrums in a game when she didn’t get her way, and will often refuse to work with other members in the group, because she wants all the “glory.” The GM has shown favoritism, specifically with moving the game in the direction she wants it to go, to save his own personal sanity. Mostly we don’t begrudge him, but at the same time are annoyed by her and can find games where she being ornery to be very unsatisfying at the end and often has my wife and I considering ending our association with the group.
October 16, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Alex Schröder
@John I’d end association with the group while you’re still on good terms with everybody!
@Dicemonkey I’m the GM in a group where my wife plays and I’ve never had anybody complain. Two of my players started dating and I still haven’t seen anything evil happening to our game. I do fear the moment a couple breaks up, however. In addition to all the pain to be expected there’s also the danger of wrecking a gaming group. Gah!
October 16, 2008 at 5:05 pm
jonathan
My wife and I have been gaming together since we met 10 years ago. I ‘converted’ her into a gamer. =D [evil laughter] We’ve never had any issue I can think of, with the exception that I want to game like 3 days a week, and her once a week…
October 16, 2008 at 6:19 pm
ScottM
I play with both my wife and father and favoritism is not an issue. Mostly because they turn their barbs on each other first, which just makes everyone else happy they’re not in the line of fire…
October 16, 2008 at 11:11 pm
» Chatty’s Question: Gaming S.O.?
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October 17, 2008 at 4:16 am
bobzilla76
Looking back I don’t think I’ve every gamed with a couple. In fact the closest I’ve came to something like that would be gaming with my brother or twin brothers. Neither caused any problems but until now I’ve never really thought about it.
October 17, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Gregor LeBlaque
I got my wife into gaming before we got married, though I’m in the same boat with jonathan with the “3 days a week, and her once a week”. Ah well.
We’ve found the best way to go, when we can get enough players, is for the two of us to co-DM. She gets to be in on the world creation and hatching of dastardly plans and plot twists, while I get to run the crunch at the table that I get into. This setup also turns campaign planning into “quality together time”, which is made of so much win I can hardly express it.
October 20, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Geek's Dream Girl
Not someone I was dating, but I did have a DM that would favor my character because he had the hots for me. ;p
Somehow my character never got hit, even when she was dealing lots of damage… odd.